A Tale of Hope & Heartache
by Simply Tragic
Summary: Squinoa. Squall has finally opened up, but will he be able to deal with the death of Ellone? Chapter 2 now up!
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1 – A Realization**

Squall walked through a meadow and released a sigh of reminiscence. In a way, this was where he first met Rinoa. Though only a dream, it had still managed to convey her sparkling eyes and sweet, innocent smile with the utmost detail.

He gazed around him at the friends he had made on his journey. This was the last time they would be together before they went their separate ways. Zell was flipping around and showing off while Quistis smiled and clapped. On a nearby hill, Selphie took Irvine's hat and tried it on. She giggled as the brim fell over her eyes, then removed the hat as she laid her head onto his lap and stared into his eyes. He smiled at her as a butterfly landed on his knee.

There was a rustling, and Squall whipped around, not knowing what to expect. He smiled as he saw a blue-clad, raven-haired beauty running toward him.

"Are you done?" he queried.

"Yes," Rinoa said, nodding. "I've paid my respects."

Their ordeal was over, although it was a bittersweet victory. They managed to find Ellone after Rinoa went into her coma. However, when she realized that she was the reason for Ultimecia's tyranny, Ellone went back to her room, a morbid look of guilt dominating her countenance. Not long after, Rinoa woke up, and in the middle of all the rejoicing, it was a day before anyone noticed that Ellone had taken her life. In doing so, she had cut the sorceress off from the present as neatly as she had her own wrist. It was decided that "Sis" would be buried at Edea's orphanage.

"Squall," Rinoa began, staring at a patch of grass, "...I'm ...sorry." Her hands folded and unfolded behind her back as she dug at the ground with her boot. Ever since Ellone's death, she had been racked with guilt. She blamed herself for the death. Squall looked to the sky and sighed, then lowered himself to the ground and fell back. He wanted to tell her that it was okay, that it wasn't her fault, but he wasn't sure of this himself. The only thing he _was _sure about was that, no matter how much Ellone had meant to him as a child, Rinoa was all that mattered now.

"It's alright," he quietly stated. "I guess...I just won't be waiting for Sis anymore..." He trailed off, and a near-invisible tear ran down his cheek. His response was as bland as he had expected it to be. He silently wished that he could comfort her. Rinoa laid next to him and wrapped her arms around him, hoping she would never have to let go. She could not stand her time away from him. Though often cold and callous, there was something in him that she was inexplicably attracted to. She found it almost cute, the way he always insisted to do everything himself, though she would never tell him. Seeing him like this, however, hit her in a place she did not know could be touched- it hit her straight in the heart.

"I'm scared," Rinoa whispered, barely audible over the sound of air being parted by Zell's fists. "I don't ... I don't ever want to be without you." She hugged him tighter, cherishing the feel of the warm body hidden underneath a layer of leather not half as thick as the skin it covered. "I want to stay like this forever!" Her eyes grew moist as she remembered her experiences while comatose. She could hear him by her side, crying and begging for her to open her eyes, but she could do nothing to comfort him. Squall closed his eyes, hoping the emptiness would bring him the courage to do what he was about to. For the first time in his life, he was scared.

"Rinoa," he tentatively began, carefully choosing his words. Emotion was not his strong point. "There's ... something I've been trying to tell you." He paused, and Rinoa's face turned towards his, an unseen glimmer of hope being reflected by tears that were still anchored in their docks. The emptiness refused to help him, and instead left him drifting in a sea of "what-ifs". He sighed and began again.

"When you ... wouldn't wake up ... it drove me crazy." The tears were slowly beginning to roll down his cheek, tracing the outline of his scar. Though still uncertain, he knew there was no longer any turning back. Rinoa reached up and wiped away the salty masses, then smiled and ran her hands through his hair. She had never seen him so emotional. She found it to be an unusual, yet nonetheless pleasing change from his tendency to give no allusion as to his feelings.

"I wanted nothing more than to hear your voice, or see your smile! I wanted to hear you tell me that ... everything would be fine ..." He swallowed and continued. "But you would just ... lie there .. and I realized something!" He opened his eyes, tears flowing fully now, creating rivers and lakes in the beautiful lines of his face. "I realized ... that even though I refuse to rely on others ... there are times when I can't do everything. I can't live without you ..."

Rinoa waited with bated breath. Would he say the words she thought he would? The entire meadow grew silent; wind ceased to blow, birds brought their songs to an end, even Zell ended his raucous yelling and acrobatics. All waited in anticipation of Squall's words

"Rinoa, I…I…"

It didn't matter anymore- he had to say it. He no longer had anything to lose- he was a SeeD, he had no more epic battles to fight. His entire life would be no more than an amateur stage show, a simple pantomime of a real life. All he could do was lifelessly drag himself from one mission to the next, over and over and over, a sick repetition of the same exact events. At this point, all he had to live for was his one, his only, his Rinoa! He knew it was finally time to let her know what he had kept bottled up inside, his only true secret.

"...I love you."

The tears ran freely from the eyes of the couple as they embraced there, caressed by the warm earth beneath them. A crescendo of emotions, love, hate, joy, sorrow, relief, disbelief, everything jumbled up into a few quick seconds where agony met ecstasy, where they met, embraced, came together as one, then parted, leaving only a wan memory of the meeting that had occurred. She pounded his chest with lightly drawn fists, crying and screaming at him, "Why did you drag me along for so long? I thought I was a client to you, nothing more! I had no way to know! I thought I was alone! I thought I was alone!"

Her anger trailed off, giving way to a torrent of tears, tears, tears and the repeated phrase, "I thought I was alone…"

Squall lifted Rinoa's head oh-so gently from his chest, and looked deep into her eyes, his own vision swimming through her tears. "Whatever," he said with a grin. She smiled at him, a pure, unfiltered smile that had not been tainted by the evils of a world that stretched before them like a sunrise. Everything was new and beautiful now.

She laid back down on his chest and murmured, "I was so scared…Scared that you didn't care for me…Scared that you _did _care for me…Scared that we wouldn't make it…Scared that…that…" She trailed of as she realized that, for the first time, Squall was smiling at her. Not just grinning, but really _smiling! _

"Rinoa," he said, slowly retracting the sides of his mouth, to Rinoa's disappointment. "That's…exactly how I felt." She noticed another first- he was _blushing!_ "You'll never have to be scared again. Wherever you go, I'll be there." His face took a serious turn as he finally realized the meaning of the vision he had. "But if we ever part ways, I'll be waiting here, for you. So…If you come here, you'll find me. I promise." As in his vision, a pure, white feather drifted down on phantom currents, landing perfectly in Rinoa's palm. She closed her hand on the memento and looked up at him. She smiled again and said, simply, "I love you."

They laid together on the grass for what seemed like years, bathing in the simple pleasure of being next to each other. Selphie looked at Irvine with a questioning look. He nodded, and she returned the gesture. They stood and walked to the blissful couple, Zell and Quistis not far behind.

Selphie looked down at Squall and lightly nudged him with her foot. "Um…Squallie? Me 'n Irvine are gonna take off now." Squall looked up at her with a wistful look in his eyes, then smiled and repeated his catchphrase.

"Whatever."

The gang shared a final hearty laugh, remembering their journey- both the good times and the bad. Then Selphie smiled again and said, "Anyway, we're gonna head out now. If you need us, we'll be in Trabia- we're gonna go live with the Shumi Tribe!" Irvine began a shrug, but was pulled away by Selphie just as his arms rose. The pair ran down the road, and Squall chuckled as he heard her raving about how cute the Moombas were. As if in line, Zell walked up to Squall.

"Hey man, me- I mean, _Quistis and I,_" he said, shooting her a glance as he rubbed a long, thin welt on his lower arm, "Are gonna take off, too." He sighed and shook his head, then looked at Squall with a comically disappointed look on his face. "You shoulda opened up to me more, though- we coulda been best friends!" He looked at Quistis, then walked away at her nod. The only remaining person- besides Rinoa, of course- turned and smiled at Squall.

"So…" Quistis began, still smiling. "What plans are in store for the two lovebirds?" Squall looked away and said, "It's none of your-"

"Business!" Quistis finished his sentence, positively beaming. She sighed and said, "Well, I'm glad I got to know my student so well!" She turned and began to walk away, then stopped in mid-step and turned around. "Oh!" she exclaimed, "Zell and I will be in Balamb with his mother! You should visit sometime!" And with that, she was gone.

The couple, finally alone, rose from the grass and looked at one another with satisfaction and glee. "Squall-" she began, but was never able to finish, for it was then that Squall leaned in, and kissed her.


	2. Chapter 2

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Okay, it recently came to my attention that I was pretty much the only fanfic writer that didn't have one of these, and I realized that there was an extremely minor, yet still conceivable chance that I could get sued. As such, I decided to put in a disclaimer!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own FF8 or any of its characters…yet. I'm saving up tho! XP

CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: Aucifer, with Dir en Grey coming up next.

Chapter 2 

As Rinoa's lips slid away from Squall's, she looked up to see his reaction. He was smiling, again, though she did not know his particular reason. Though he was glad that he had finally lifted his secret's burden, he was smiling simply because he happened to notice a small detail- Rinoa's lips were still stuck in a slight pout, as if they had not yet realized they had parted from his own. She blinked slowly and lowered her head for a second, her forehead creating a minor indentation in his jacket, then lifted her head once more, a look of expectation gracing her features.

"Squall," she began, a subtly serious tone inching into her voice. She paused then, furrowing her brow and losing herself in thought. Though she had memorized this little speech of hers while they laid together in the grass, she had now forgotten every word. She sighed with reluctance. She would have to wing it.

"Um…I've been wondering…" Rinoa's serious tone had been carelessly tossed away in exchange for a sheepish one. She was no longer as confident in his answer as she had been. She began to worry, asking herself if she should really ask him, or just leave the answer to fate. After all, it wouldn't be the first time that Squall gave her a disappointing answer…

But no. It had to be done.

"Squall, what do we do now? I mean…where do we go now?"

Squall shrugged and began walking back to Edea's house. "I don't really know," he said. "I guess it doesn't really matter now. I don't really care where we go, as long as you're by my side." He didn't look back as he said this. He knew full well that, despite the fact that he loved her, this would not be a satisfying answer. He was doing his best to be helpful, but he couldn't just lie. Simply put, he had not actually thought this far in advance.

He should have been thankful that he didn't turn around, for he would have seen a very unhappy Rinoa running after him. He was correct in thinking that his words would not be enough- in fact, they had put him into an even worse situation. Though she had not expected much, she was surprised and infuriated at his casual response. Apparently he did not think it was as important a subject as she did.

"Squall!" she cried, eyes flaming as he finally turned to face her. "This is serious! We have to figure out what to do! I need security! I can't have you just run off for a SeeD mission in the middle of the day! I wouldn't be able to take it! I can't… I can't be away from you for that long again!" At this point she was on her knees again, tears streaming from her eyes. This was why she had practiced her speech before- she was hoping to avoid this. "I know you don't think this is as serious as I do, but I-" She stopped as Squall kneeled and brought his finger to her lips. He smiled with affection- though he hated to see her cry, he was inexplicably glad that she was already so open with him. Sorrow breeds trust, he thought.

"Rinoa," he began, gently lifting her chin with his index finger, "You don't have any reason to worry. Just because I don't know what's going to happen with us doesn't mean that I don't care or take it seriously!" He smiled and lifted her to her feet, then reached his hands farther back and ran his fingers through her hair. He pulled her nearer to him, cherishing the feel of her silken hair running over his skin, and brought his lips to hers- a soft, simple kiss, yet sensual enough to rid her of her worries and get his point across. He broke the kiss and tilted her head towards his, angling his own head down at the same time. "And about the missions, please calm down. I'm… I'm going to quit SeeD."

"What!" Rinoa screamed. She pulled away from him in utter shock. This was completely unlike him. He had worked his entire life to be a SeeD. In a way, it was him. She couldn't even comprehend what he would do if he were to go without orders! She shook her head in disbelief. "But Squall…How…Why…Where will you live? Where will _we_ live?" Squall smiled a smile that was almost as sad as it was happy.

"Actually," he started, "I've already taken care of that. I asked Cid, and he said that we could still stay in Balmb Garden until we find somewhere else to live. He even said we could just live there if we can't find anywhere else to go. He doesn't think Garden will be too busy now that we no longer have Ultimicia to deal with…" He trailed off, a wistful expression forming on his face. "So you see, you won't ever have to be the woman that is forever waiting for her love to return from a far-off battle, the woman that everyone always encourages, but secretly pities." He shook his head and smiled at her, laughing inside about her worrisome nature. "I would never do that to you."

"But…won't you miss fighting?" she asked, cocking her head ever-so-slightly to the side. He was worrying her. Though he always followed his orders, she knew that he secretly loved to be free, to be able to travel wherever he wanted to on a whim, to have _choices_. "Won't you miss the freedom?" He took her hands and pulled her tight to him. His head lowered to her shoulder, and he whispered in her ear:

"_I have all the freedom I could ever need right here, with you."_

And with those words he took her hand and lead her through Edea's ruined abode, toward a waiting Balamb Garden, toward an uncertain future, but most of all toward freedom.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: (yep, from now on I'll have one at the beginning and end of each chapter! Whoopee!) Well, sorry for the short(er) chapter, but this is probably the length they'll be from now on. I'm gonna put in a little something about Squall dealing with Ellone's death next chapter (so yes, more crying…I find crying to be a very intimate and trusting act- am I just weird like that?), but then the chapter after that should just be a happy one with Squall and Rinoa! - Hope you enjoyed this, R&R PLEASE, & if you get a chance and don't mind kinda-parodies, you should check out my other fic, "Funblade." It's a quick litte skit that I did for the hell of it that explains where Squall keeps his equipment…XP …people seem to like it so far, and not one person has made a comment about the fact that Squall's weapons are _remodeled_, not _purchased_… o.O…but I'm actually kinda glad they haven't…koff koff shifty eyes… Anyway, see you when I get some more free time!

CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: Cinema Strange, with Tragic Black after that, followed by Depeche Mode.


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